There is NOTHING worse in this house than missing glasses. Well, maybe that time all eight of us got a stomach bug and only had two bathrooms, one of which had a nonfunctioning toilet that we were waiting on a replacement for. We literally all sat around and cried for two days with buckets and trashcans in our laps. Or that time one of the kids got headlice at a sleepover and we had to wash every fabric in the house and treat eight people with RID and nit combs.
Anyway... Paul and Noah were both born with an eye muscle misalignment. They are extremely farsighted and wear glasses that are as thick as coke bottle bottoms. Glasses are 1) completely necessary, 2) expensive, 3) easy to lose, and 4) breakable. Noah goes through an average of four pairs of glasses per year which is a remarkable improvement from the year he went through nine. Noah is on a first name basis with the entire staff at Costco Optical. Last night, I managed to climb in bed before the kids did. I was laying there reading when Noah came to kiss me goodnight. Our routine is "kiss, hug, eskimo kiss, butterfly kiss, fish kiss (with our cheeks sucked in and lips sticking out), big hug, little hug, and medium hug." Before he kissed me, I took off his glasses and laid them on my nightstand. We did our bedtime routine and off he went.
This morning, the glasses were nowhere to be found. They were RIGHT THERE, on my own nightstand, when I went to sleep. I cannot describe how exasperated I was, because I vividly remembered where we last put them. I pulled the nightstand away from the wall, searched the drawers, searched under my bed, searched through my covers (maybe I grabbed them in my sleep or something?), and shook my fist at the sky. Finally, I looked up at the cat tower by my window and saw Mose peering down at me looking, well, like Mose. And Mose is just such a bad cat. I got a chair and looked onto the highest perch which is a large, rimmed circle about 7 feet high. Sure enough, there were the glasses. Along with 3 of my hair accessories, a red straw, a Circle K receipt, a mini-bag of Hot Tamales, and my eyeliner pen that went missing months ago.