Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Task of Showering

I worked 16 hours straight yesterday with no lunch, so this morning I decided to sleep in a bit. When I got up to take my shower, I was interrupted at least ten times. Examples:

Hannah: "Mom, are you naked?"
Me: "What do you think, Hannah? I'm in the shower."
Hannah: "Well can you let me in?"
Me: "In the shower?"
Hannah (laughing): "No, I just want to use your brush."
Me: "You need to give me some privacy."
Hannah: "Well it's not like I've never seen boobs before."

Noah: "Mom? Paul's not letting me have a turn on the computer."
Me: "I'm in the shower, Noah. I can barely hear you."
Noah: "MOM? PAUL'S NOT LETTING ME HAVE A TURN ON THE COMPUTER."
Me: "Noah, please let me take a shower in peace."
Five minutes later... Noah: "Mom? Are you done yet?"
Me: "I asked you to leave me alone for a little while."
Noah: "I left you alone for like 20 minutes. You're just taking forever!"
Me: "Please go away."
Noah: "Ok, I'll just wait here by the door until I hear the water turn off."

Paul: "Mom? Can you initial my chore chart?" (yes, we do chore charts)
Me: "Paul, I'm in the shower."
Paul: "Well this marker is probably waterproof."
Me: "Is the paper?" (being sarcastic)
Paul: "It's laminated."
Me: "Paul, please leave me alone so I can finish showering."
Paul: "Are you shaving your legs? Because they felt spiky the other day when we were reading."
Me: "Thanks for letting me know."
Paul: "I was just worried."
Me: "Why?"
Paul: "Because your leg felt like a man."
Me: "The reason I don't have time to shave sometimes is because you guys always interrupt my showers."
Paul: "Well maybe you should just get an electric razor for outside the shower."
Me: "Maybe you should just stop telling me about my hairy legs."
Paul: "Just be sure to shave before we swim on Saturday."

Tober: "Rach? Can I go over to Chelsea's house early?"
Me: "Do you need me to drive you?"
Tober: "Yeah."
Me: "Well do you want me to drive you there dripping wet and naked?
Tober: "Uh... no."
Me: "Then please leave me alone while I'm in the shower."

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