Friday, April 29, 2011

Fat Cat Fun

Last night, I glanced over at the couch and noticed that Jabba was sitting upright like a human, legs wide apart, his udder proudly displayed for the world to see. It was the perfect opportunity for a funny photo. Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hit List

I am fairly certain that I'm a prominent character in a murder-for-hire fantasy belonging to my oldest son. Tober hates me right now. I mean really, truly loathes me. Why, you may ask? Because I turned off his cell phone. Permanently. Alas, after repeatedly warning him to turn his phone off at bedtime, he continued to text his girlfriend well into the wee hours of the morning on school nights. Wiping his phone memory didn't exactly pay off when I could look up the usage on BUSTED. The good news is that 1) I'm saving $24 per month on my family plan, 2) Micah broke his phone so now we have a free replacement device, and 3) maybe Tober will start using all of that pent up texting energy to start properly using his insulin pump.

On a funnier note, I bought Noah a stuffed anaconda at the Phoenix Zoo last weekend. Last night when I was giving him bedtime kisses, he said, "Wait! Let Spotty give you your goodnight strangle."

Friday, April 22, 2011

Parenting Fail

Noah (2nd grade) and Paul (4th grade) had to make alphabet books this week. I really want to die.

Noah's letter B:

Paul's letter C:

If you don't understand Paul's letter C, then watch this:

Friday, April 15, 2011

Poetic Inspiration

Last night, Hannah was feeling sentimental and decided to write me a poem to hang in my office. She asked, "What is a pretty word that begins with the letter I?" Paul quickly answered, "Index. Intestines. IGNEOUS!!!" 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Baritones, Seashells, and Wheel of Fortune

The other night, Paul was practicing his baritone in the kids' rec room. Scott told him that it was time for bed, but Paul continued to blare the same sound over and over. Finally, Scott marched into the room to see what the holdup was. Paul had stuffed a Nerf ball into the bell of his baritone to see if he could blow it out.

We visited San Diego for a friend's birthday a few weeks ago. It was the day after the mini-tsunami struck there in southern CA due to the Japan quake. With seashells everywhere, I started gathering quickly to add to Hannah Rose's collection. (Sidenote: I'm a little obsessed with seashells since I didn't even visit an ocean for the first time until I was 25.) I finally had a towel-full and carried them back to the resort. I carefully washed them all, dried them, put them in a plastic hotel laundry bag, tied it shut, and packed it away safely in my suitcase with great care to make sure none of its contents were crushed.  Fast forward a few weeks to when I actually had time to unpack. I was excited to remember the shells and promptly gave them to Hannah as a surprise. Little did I know that there had been a CRAB in one of the shells when I collected it. The poor crab had died and been decaying inside the plastic for three weeks. Hannah eagerly opened her bag of sea shells... and immediately threw up on her bed from the smell. Fail.

The other night, we were watching Wheel of Fortune. This is a bit of a family tradition, and the kids are actually pretty good at it. Anyway, there was a female contestant whose voice sounded like she was either 1) on helium, 2) a cartoon character, or 3) a three year old girl. At one point in the game she said, "I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat." Noah chimed in and said, "Hey lady, why don't you buy an adult voice while you're at it."